There’s this Boy

I have a crush on a boy!

We chat every so often via message

Nothing serious. We just chat about art, music, sexuality and our life experiences

We have seen each other twice via FaceTime

He’s not within physical contact you see

This boy is in another Country

Another world away

He consumes my thoughts daily

Wondering what he is up to

What notes he is learning

What tune he is singing

He is of another world

A world that has since passed

A world where fine art and fine music once was a romantic symbol of love and expression

He is an Opera singer

So handsome and divine

He holds a deep tambour of masculinity with depths deeper than most

I have imagined what it would be like to have a life with him

To come home and have his voice sing to me everyday

Then reality sets in

It’s just a dream

I may never get to experience his love, his beauty and his rigid body pressed against mine

This is just a crush, another crush that I have to enjoy for a moment and then let go

Does he feel the same way? I don’t know and I won’t ask

I am most likely someone he can just write to when he is alone and has no one to occupy his time and thoughts

That’s fine. I’m okay with that. I have felt vulnerable and I need to learn to embrace my vulnerability. It’s a strength not many possess

Maybe this is all it is

Teaching me to accept vulnerability without taking the pain and putting it on someone else

He is just a boy.

A Man in fact. A beautiful Man that shouldn’t feel my insecurity

So, there’s this boy and I have a crush on him

That’s all it will be!

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